As I give lectures about strategic thinking, we talk about the Strategy 360 principle of “Think: Team Sport”.
Often, I get questions, about dealing with counter-productive team members. This could include the naysayer, the gossiper, the jerk, the mean or angry person, or the self-righteous. Sometimes I get the question, “what do you do when a narcissist is on the team?”
This is a fair question, as narcissistic behaviors are not uncommon, and they certainly are counter-productive to running an organization.
When these questions come up, I tell the group about a guy I knew who had an Olympic-sized ego. It was interesting to watch him in action. No matter what anyone said on any topic, he would jump in with an opinion of his own. No matter who had a story, he had a better one. He cut into every conversation and injected himself. You got the feeling that he simply had no real interest in anything that anyone had to say, it was all about him. He was simply never interested in any point of view other than his own, and drawing attention to his past accomplishments. Lots of people have an “ego wall” in their office or garage, but his was right in his living room – no kidding.
From a clinical viewpoint, this guy was clearly addicted to admiration. From a personal point of view, he was annoying. We came to just avoid him altogether.
A strategic thinker has a clear vision of those they want to accept into their inner circle. Those who distract from our vision need to be identified and filtered out.
Among the variety of unhealthy behaviors, narcissistic behaviors are unique because a narcissist rarely seeks help for their condition. They tend to be un-teachable, and thus are generally not suited for being a member of a productive team.
If you are stuck with a narcissist on the team, avoid giving them genuine decision-making or leadership roles. They tend to make poor decision-makers or leaders because of their lack of empathy and their inability to see the world rationally. Instead, give them token leadership roles – where they have no real role in decision making.
But ideally, the narcissist is best on someone else’s team altogether.
Sunday, January 31, 2016
The Socratic Way
When I was in graduate school at UCLA, I had the very best professor and the very worst professor – in the same semester.
The worst professor was a very well-known business guru, complete with a best-selling business book. He would drill us with information that encompassed his view of the world. When it came to business, he told us exactly what to think, say and do. It was an exercise in intense reading and memorization. Each class was tough, intense and just frightening.
The other professor was quite different. He never told us what to think or do. Instead, he seemed to have great faith in our abilities to research, reason and act. He was just there here to facilitate the conversation.
In other words, he was Socratic. He would ask questions to stimulate rational thinking and to illuminate ideas, but it was no cake walk. He would play the devil’s advocate with our own ideas, challenging our thought and pointing out weak logic or reasoning. He would congratulate us when we reached an intelligent conclusion – something he probably already knew, but never let on. Each class brought a brain buzz, or what I called a “thinker’s high”.
When I went forward into the business world, I took this style of a Socratic approach along with me. Rich Habits Rich Life is 100% Socratic. We never tell anyone what to do or think, we believe that everyone has those answers within themselves. We are just there to lay out a clear framework, present various points of view, ask some clear questions and facilitate the process as people make the transition from conventional to strategic thinking. This is the Socratic way.
The worst professor was a very well-known business guru, complete with a best-selling business book. He would drill us with information that encompassed his view of the world. When it came to business, he told us exactly what to think, say and do. It was an exercise in intense reading and memorization. Each class was tough, intense and just frightening.
The other professor was quite different. He never told us what to think or do. Instead, he seemed to have great faith in our abilities to research, reason and act. He was just there here to facilitate the conversation.
In other words, he was Socratic. He would ask questions to stimulate rational thinking and to illuminate ideas, but it was no cake walk. He would play the devil’s advocate with our own ideas, challenging our thought and pointing out weak logic or reasoning. He would congratulate us when we reached an intelligent conclusion – something he probably already knew, but never let on. Each class brought a brain buzz, or what I called a “thinker’s high”.
When I went forward into the business world, I took this style of a Socratic approach along with me. Rich Habits Rich Life is 100% Socratic. We never tell anyone what to do or think, we believe that everyone has those answers within themselves. We are just there to lay out a clear framework, present various points of view, ask some clear questions and facilitate the process as people make the transition from conventional to strategic thinking. This is the Socratic way.
The Pareto Principle
“Strategic Thinking” is what separates the achiever from the non-achiever, the success from the failure and the rich from the poor.
Conventional thinking yields conventional results. On the other hand, strategic thinkers conscientiously think about every factor that goes into their plan, all the way from their core philosophies through the desired consequences. They are not “reactive thinkers” or those who simply react to things that come along.
Strategic thinkers have a clear overall plan which incorporates their vision, and that takes them from where they are now to achieving that mission. This is the mindset required for achievement.
In a typical group, the Pareto Principle of 80-20 applies to conventional verses exceptional thinking. About 80% of the people you meet are conventional thinkers. They have no written plan, and just deal with stuff as it comes up. They have no real ambition to change anything.
About 20% are strategic thinkers. They have a clear, written plan for both their business and life – and they review and update it often. As such, they enjoy a distinct competitive advantage over the conventional thinker.
Rich Habits Rich Life is a tool that strategic thinkers inevitably find to be valuable. It is designed to take them from where they are, to exactly where they want to be.
Conventional thinking yields conventional results. On the other hand, strategic thinkers conscientiously think about every factor that goes into their plan, all the way from their core philosophies through the desired consequences. They are not “reactive thinkers” or those who simply react to things that come along.
Strategic thinkers have a clear overall plan which incorporates their vision, and that takes them from where they are now to achieving that mission. This is the mindset required for achievement.
In a typical group, the Pareto Principle of 80-20 applies to conventional verses exceptional thinking. About 80% of the people you meet are conventional thinkers. They have no written plan, and just deal with stuff as it comes up. They have no real ambition to change anything.
About 20% are strategic thinkers. They have a clear, written plan for both their business and life – and they review and update it often. As such, they enjoy a distinct competitive advantage over the conventional thinker.
Rich Habits Rich Life is a tool that strategic thinkers inevitably find to be valuable. It is designed to take them from where they are, to exactly where they want to be.
A Guru
Today I heard something that I have to blog about. I was talking to somebody today on the phone and they called me a “guru”.
For the record, I am not a guru – and I don’t have aspirations to be a guru.
Rich Habits Rich Life is not about me. It is about you.
It is about your ability to go from conventional thinking to strategic thinking. It is about going from having no written strategy to having one. It is about establishing your own game plan.
I was once a conventional thinker myself. Yes, I had two college degrees, but I was still a conventional thinker. Then I started to really organize my thinking and laying out a written game plan for my business and life. The results were dramatic. I went from conventional results to having some fascinating results.
Today, I truly enjoy helping others make that transition from conventional thinking to exceptional thinking. It opens up a whole new world. It allows others to find the “guru” inside of themselves.
For the record, I am not a guru – and I don’t have aspirations to be a guru.
Rich Habits Rich Life is not about me. It is about you.
It is about your ability to go from conventional thinking to strategic thinking. It is about going from having no written strategy to having one. It is about establishing your own game plan.
I was once a conventional thinker myself. Yes, I had two college degrees, but I was still a conventional thinker. Then I started to really organize my thinking and laying out a written game plan for my business and life. The results were dramatic. I went from conventional results to having some fascinating results.
Today, I truly enjoy helping others make that transition from conventional thinking to exceptional thinking. It opens up a whole new world. It allows others to find the “guru” inside of themselves.
The Everyday Sociopath
One of the principles taught in Rich Habits Rich Life is to beat the competition. This takes several forms, but one of the most damaging types of competition can sometimes come within our own company, community or organization. It is the "everyday sociopath."
It may seem somewhat dramatic to refer to someone as a "sociopath", but this condition is actually not that uncommon. According to Harvard University's Dr. Martha Stout, one person in 24 is a sociopath. A common myth about sociopaths is that they are all crazed serial killers. Indeed, most sociopaths blend in quite well with everyday life ... except one thing ... they do not have a conscience. Sociopaths do not "feel" the way we do. Despite this, they often have a trademark level of "charm", and people who are ignorant can be drawn in and come under their spell.
Sociopaths often become leaches or con artists, but they can also masquerade as successful business people or professionals. They may be married and have lots of kids. They can literally stand in front of a church group, a group of Boy Scouts or an organization to assist battered women, lie about their accomplishments and then pitch a phony charity and ask for donations. Then a sociopath - without blinking an eye - will use the money to buy Lakers tickets...and a limo to take them to the game! They do it with a smile and they never accept responsibility for the damage that they do.
When a normal person lies, they will typically have physiological effects that show up on a lie detector. When lying, a normal person will slightly sweat, tremble or have an increase in blood pressure. But sociopaths are "wired" differently. They can actually "flat line" a polygraph test. They lie, even when they have no reason to lie. The problem is real, as they can wreck havoc with companies, professional firms, families, neighborhoods or any organization.
So how do you know if you are dealing with a sociopath? A simple litmus test is to know that if you catch a person in three lies (particularly in areas where there is no real reason to lie), you probably have a sociopath on your hands. If this is a question, I recommend that you read the book, "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout, PhD.
There is rarely a “happy ending” with the everyday sociopath. The bottom line, once you identify a sociopath, put as much distance as possible between them and you.
It may seem somewhat dramatic to refer to someone as a "sociopath", but this condition is actually not that uncommon. According to Harvard University's Dr. Martha Stout, one person in 24 is a sociopath. A common myth about sociopaths is that they are all crazed serial killers. Indeed, most sociopaths blend in quite well with everyday life ... except one thing ... they do not have a conscience. Sociopaths do not "feel" the way we do. Despite this, they often have a trademark level of "charm", and people who are ignorant can be drawn in and come under their spell.
Sociopaths often become leaches or con artists, but they can also masquerade as successful business people or professionals. They may be married and have lots of kids. They can literally stand in front of a church group, a group of Boy Scouts or an organization to assist battered women, lie about their accomplishments and then pitch a phony charity and ask for donations. Then a sociopath - without blinking an eye - will use the money to buy Lakers tickets...and a limo to take them to the game! They do it with a smile and they never accept responsibility for the damage that they do.
When a normal person lies, they will typically have physiological effects that show up on a lie detector. When lying, a normal person will slightly sweat, tremble or have an increase in blood pressure. But sociopaths are "wired" differently. They can actually "flat line" a polygraph test. They lie, even when they have no reason to lie. The problem is real, as they can wreck havoc with companies, professional firms, families, neighborhoods or any organization.
So how do you know if you are dealing with a sociopath? A simple litmus test is to know that if you catch a person in three lies (particularly in areas where there is no real reason to lie), you probably have a sociopath on your hands. If this is a question, I recommend that you read the book, "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout, PhD.
There is rarely a “happy ending” with the everyday sociopath. The bottom line, once you identify a sociopath, put as much distance as possible between them and you.
Is Your Door Locked?
We all have our “thing” and for reasons I can’t explain, one of my “things” is that I collect Houdini memorabilia. I have always been fascinated with Houdini’s stunts and feats. I am his biggest fan.
Houdini had a routine. Before going to a new town or city, he would write the local newspaper and publicly challenge the local police department to lock Houdini in their finest jail, and give him the opportunity to escape, which he always did – almost.
On one occasion, Houdini was locked in a jail cell by a particularly sinister man. For minutes and then for hours Houdini attempted to pick the lock, but he could never get the mechanism to click open.
He started to sweat. His reputation was on the line. There were lots of newspaper reporters outside of the jail, just waiting to tell everyone about his success … or failure.
Houdini had picked this type of lock hundreds to times before, he worked and worked, and nothing happened. Finally, in desperation, he just leaned against the wall and sighed. He started to think about the humiliation of giving up, and the destruction to his career that would follow.
Then Houdini got an idea. Could it be? What if the sinister jailer had purposely left the jail unlocked? You can’t pick open a lock that is already open! Could the jailer really be that brazen to try such a stunt?
Houdini strolled over to the jail door lock that he had tried to pick unsuccessfully for hours – and just turned the knob – and it popped open!
What locks do we perceive in our businesses or lives? Are they real, or can they just be opened for the asking?
There is only one way to find out!
Houdini had a routine. Before going to a new town or city, he would write the local newspaper and publicly challenge the local police department to lock Houdini in their finest jail, and give him the opportunity to escape, which he always did – almost.
On one occasion, Houdini was locked in a jail cell by a particularly sinister man. For minutes and then for hours Houdini attempted to pick the lock, but he could never get the mechanism to click open.
He started to sweat. His reputation was on the line. There were lots of newspaper reporters outside of the jail, just waiting to tell everyone about his success … or failure.
Houdini had picked this type of lock hundreds to times before, he worked and worked, and nothing happened. Finally, in desperation, he just leaned against the wall and sighed. He started to think about the humiliation of giving up, and the destruction to his career that would follow.
Then Houdini got an idea. Could it be? What if the sinister jailer had purposely left the jail unlocked? You can’t pick open a lock that is already open! Could the jailer really be that brazen to try such a stunt?
Houdini strolled over to the jail door lock that he had tried to pick unsuccessfully for hours – and just turned the knob – and it popped open!
What locks do we perceive in our businesses or lives? Are they real, or can they just be opened for the asking?
There is only one way to find out!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)